I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
this hospital has no fireball
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
