it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just threw up on my dentist
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
