Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Dear god my vagina.
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