drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize