: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
