he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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