i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
