i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?