im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car