turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.