It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.