I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
