I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
