Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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