OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Girls should come with a carfax report
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
