If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize