You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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