Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
