its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
