Who wears a wallet chain?!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
COCAINE IS GR8
My vagina is very pro this idea
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
