he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
