That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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