and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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