Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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