end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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