what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
