The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
