she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
