well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm at about main and main street
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
