The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Girls should come with a carfax report
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.