I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
In America we eat man semen.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.