Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize