so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I need moral support for this bender
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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