He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Bring me that man meat
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
