I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize