he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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