it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
