Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
