So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize