I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
