im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger