is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So apparently I’m into choking now
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