Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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