Texts From Last Night

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  (830): View more from Texas

  What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple

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  (830): What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple http://tfl.nu/5qs4
  Replies (9) Good night (3971) Bad night (893)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.

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  (267): Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup. http://tfl.nu/dysq
  Replies (10) Good night (3076) Bad night (821)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.

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  (575): I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together. http://tfl.nu/r2dz
  Replies (19) Good night (5050) Bad night (1039)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved

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  (480): Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved http://tfl.nu/be00
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (2190)
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  (916): View more from California

  I can already almost taste penis in my mouth

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  (916): I can already almost taste penis in my mouth http://tfl.nu/o1w6
  Replies (10) Good night (2326) Bad night (1017)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"

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  (520): They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield" http://tfl.nu/wdyt
  Replies (8) Good night (2948) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.

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  (914): Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county. (1-914): You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud. http://tfl.nu/15gl
  Replies (3) Good night (2050) Bad night (654)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.

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  (970): bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog. http://tfl.nu/rc38
  Replies (5) Good night (1668) Bad night (423)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.

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  (937): I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus. http://tfl.nu/cdmo
  Replies (6) Good night (576) Bad night (748)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?

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  (509): I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood. (609): That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do? http://tfl.nu/arvc
  Replies (7) Good night (1650) Bad night (446)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex

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  (703): Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex http://tfl.nu/1fn0
  Replies (7) Good night (516) Bad night (827)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.

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  (+44): I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks. http://tfl.nu/6xxg
  Replies (0) Good night (865) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.

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  (516): People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall. http://tfl.nu/80cl
  Replies (7) Good night (1959) Bad night (490)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.

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  (818): Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win. http://tfl.nu/6d7w
  Replies (3) Good night (599) Bad night (207)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...

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  (603): Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume... http://tfl.nu/4fod
  Replies (3) Good night (378) Bad night (334)

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