Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.

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(909): View more from California

My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.

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(817): View more from Texas

He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!

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(310): View more from California

Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face

(310): View more from California

On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?

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(404): View more from Georgia

You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.

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(770): View more from Georgia

My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.

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(240): View more from Maryland

If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.

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