Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?

(469): View more from Texas

Ya, why?

(972): View more from Texas

We should try that some time.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.

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(619): View more from California

you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass

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(928): View more from Arizona

I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.

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