never play flip cup with pint glasses
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
