Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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