i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
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doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he fucked my hip out of place.
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I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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