Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
