You're my little dorito
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
