I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
