it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
