Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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