Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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