Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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