I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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