I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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