some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
