thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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