Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
