He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
