Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
