Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
kristin has been a bad kristin
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
