i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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