my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
