ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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