Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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