Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
