I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
