You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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