hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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